Human Resource Blog

Angry Manager

Hi,

I’m in HR. My acting manager snapped at me today. I asked him a question (on behalf of another manager) last week and he responded that he would have an answer on Tuesday. Today I received a call from the other managers assistant asking the same question. I asked my acting manager the same question prefacing that manager X was inquiring. He snapped at me saying I don’t know yet. I told you that I make the decision. You are putting pressure on me and I don’t like you to keep asking me when I told you I would let you know. I nicely, calmly responded that I was asking on behalf of manager x. I then walked away. My question is how can I let him know that I don’t appreciate being snapped at. That I am on his team and don’t mean to cause him to feel extra pressure. Am I over reacting? Should I shrug it off? This is the second time he has snapped at me while I was the messenger. Last point.. he is usually very kind to me so I don’t believe this is a personal issue as much as a management style. Thanks in advance and sorry for the long question.

The best solution to this problem is probably not to allow yourself to be caught in the middle. It appears that managers and employees from other departments are using you to “nag” your boss. Your boss understandably resents the nagging and snaps at the person who is doing it. That way, you get all the grief and the other managers take none of the risk. If Todd is another manager, and he wants an answer from your boss, simply tell Todd in a nice way that you don’t have the answer yet. If he needs more information, he’s welcome to ask the boss himself. (You can even volunteer to transfer the call.)

There is nothing to be gained by you confronting the manager to let him know you “don’t appreciate” being snapped at. For one thing, no one likes being snapped at. For another, he holds all the cards here. You have nothing to gain by making him angry, and everything to lose.

We’re not sure we understand the difference between a personal issue and management style. Ideally, managers should not snap at their employees. But we bet if you refuse to let the employees in other departments yank your chain, this will stop. If this reoccurs in the future when you are not nagging your boss, you can quietly say, “I don’t appreciate being spoken to like that.” and walk away.

You seem to think that the response is at least somewhat justified, due to the pressure your boss is under. Our experience has been that there is often a great deal more pressure that employees are not aware of. Usually when a supervisor says he will have an answer by Tuesday, he menas by the end of business Tuesday. So it would not be approproiate to “nag” until Wednesday…and perhaps not then.

This is a touchy issue and we’d love to hear comments from HR people who have handled similar problems in the past.